How to Flip the Bad Mom Script [VIDEO]
Virtual Mom Meetup with Life Coach Stepha LaFond
Because of Covid-19, virtually overnight, it felt as if we underwent one of life's biggest identity shifts. Unlike most transitions in life, this was one that we didn't plan, or even ask for. This pandemic has asked mothers to suddenly don so many hats at once -- caregiver, employee, teacher, entertainer, religious school teacher, short order cook (etc.) -- that just keeping track of which hat to wear when is overwhelming. And even though we know, at least intellectually, that the responsibilities foisted upon us are more than any one person can fulfill to a T; we still feel guilty when we fall short of doing all of these things at our usual peak performance. On May 20, 2020 we got together with Life Coach and Mama Mentor Stepha Lafond around the topic of negative self talk, to talk about ways we can shift away from the Bad Mom mindset and towards one of self-compassion.
Below, are some special takeaways from Stepha, created just for Mom Group. These are great tools/thoughts to keep in mind, whenever we feel overwhelmed by negative feelings about ourselves, and are focusing on the bad:
Tips from Life Coach/Mama Mentor Stepha LaFond:
nsfmg not safe for mom group bad mom virtual event stepha lafond
Understand Your Capacity - "One of the things that I like to tell my clients is to understand their capacity, aka what they are able to do fairly easily at any given point, keeping in mind that this capacity is ever changing. We’re going through such a hard time collectively, where in many cases we are being asked to perform at double or triple capacity — and that’s not sustainable for anyone. If you’re feeling overwhelmed, look to see what can be taken off of your plate for the time being. If you are married or have a partner, communicate how you’re feeling and ask for help where possible. Most importantly, give your self grace. It’s ok if things don’t look as you imagined, you’re doing your best and that is enough."
Take Time For You - "It’s impossible to be all the things, to all the people, all the time. Find ways to take time for you. It can be an afternoon stroll, waking up early to have your coffee or tea before the whole house is up, a conversation with your girlfriends, meditation, etc . You can’t pour from an empty cup. By doing things that fuel you, you are able to use that fuel and pour lovingly back to others without feeling depleted."
Flip The Script on Negative Self Talk - "That little nagging voice in our head that tells us how wrong we are, how bad we’re doing? We can actually control it. The best way to so is to dissociate perceived “bad” behavior as a character flaw. Ex: I did X “bad thing” because I’m a terrible mom. We all make mistakes, and we all don’t get things quite right. It’s part of being human. The next time you find yourself spiraling into negative self talk talk, flip the script by affirming all of the good things that make you amazing. If it helps, think about how you would talk to your child or a loved one if they made a mistake, and extend that same compassion to yourself."
Watch (nsfmg)'s virtual meetup with Stepha, here:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hRwtBrb_sxg&t=1s
Stepha is a Life Coach and Mentor, dedicated to helping moms navigate the space between who they are and who they’re still becoming. As a mom of two young children, she knows first-hand the struggles of juggling the demands of motherhood, career, and life. She started her business out of a desire to put moms at the center of the conversation, with an emphasis on shifting the narrative on modern motherhood to one that allows space for mamas to grow, heal and take care of themselves at all stages of their journey.Sign up for her coaching and mentoring sessions by going to stephalafond.com.